Self-Hatred

It has been over a year since I last blogged. With recent events, I felt that I needed to express some thoughts on racism and self-hatred.

In the past several months, Blacks and women have been degraded in entertainment. Not that it hasn't been happening for decades but it has been brought to the forefront with the actions of Michael Richards and Don Imus. I was watching Oprah yesterday and the panelists really started to infuriate me. Everybody, it seems, wants to blame the Hip-Hop industry for the usage of the words, n***er, b**ch and ho'. Even though I do see some blame lies with them, I don't see it as it being totally their own fault. They are only expressing themselves in ways that were presented to them. Yes, they should be smarter and held accountable for the words they use, knowing that the younger generations are listening but I don't think that they realize that what they are saying is wrong. Where did they get these negative images of themselves and women? We didn't do this to ourselves. It was done to our ancestors by our Caucasian counterparts' ancestors. They taught us to hate ourselves by believing that we were dumb, stupid - ignorant. That we have nappy hair, big noses, full lips and hips - that we were ugly. We perpetuate this innuendos by trying to change ourselves (myself included) into the images that "White America" wants us to be. Society has denigrated black men to the point that they are practically effeminate. It called him "boy", made him feel like he was less than nothing, it has taken his woman and called her "gal" AND made her the head of his household, it put white women on pedestals and made him think that it was/is "taboo" to be with her. It made his women believe that she can only look "good" with straight, long hair (hence the relaxers and weaves), slim noses and fair skin. With these images put forth, how else are we supposed love ourselves? We can't. I try to teach my children that being Black is beautiful and it's not shameful. There is nothing wrong with having more melanin in our skin; it protects us from the UV rays of the sun. There nothing wrong with having full lips, big breasts, wide hips and buttocks - that is our heritage. But when society makes us feel that we are lazy, good-for-nothings, we will always put each other and ourselves down. Did we ever take the time to think that because of the abuse we have received for decades that hip-hop artists are just expressing what we think of ourselves? That in calling our women, hoes and b***ches, it makes them feel better because then we are lower than them? That there is some type of camaraderie when we call each other n***er because we are all ignorant, Black people and in turn makes you know that you are no better than me? In watching Oprah, not one panelist, including Rev. Sharpton, stated (from what I remember) that Whites have to take responsibility for what their ancestors did to our ancestors. In my opinion, when they decide to do that and realize that instead of putting us down, raise us up and treat us like equals and that we ALSO made a strong contribution to the progress and development of this country, then we will feel that those words so heavily used will have no meaning. But that thought is in a perfect world and that is what we don't live in. So we, as a people, must teach our children to love, not loathe, ourselves and others and then possibly we can begin to heal ourselves and realize that we are not niggers, bitches and hoes. We are productive members of society and we have nothing to be ashamed of.

As for Michael Richards and Don Imus - I don't carry any malice in my heart for them. They only said what was shown to them by their parents and their parents before them. Yes, they should have know better but on the other hand, we should have known better also and not use these hateful, hurtful words in a realm that this country can hear it and feel that they have "Carte Blanche" to use them because we use them. We shouldn't be using these words at all, in public or private. Once this happens, then any person - Black or White - should be held accountable for their actions when they are used in a public arena.