Basket"brawl" and "Fight"ball

What is up with people today? I was so shocked to see NBA players go up in the stand and fight on fans that literally pay their salaries by attending their games. I think I all boils down to people being frustrated. I know that I am! People are just bumping heads left and right - literally, too. Just the day after the basketbrawl, we get fightball with the college football teams.

What is all the frustration about? Why is it happening so much now? But not even in the world of sports...just in the world in general? Partners killing partners and then killing themselves. Demonstrations galore. The climate in the world isn't not a calm one. People really must get some type of grip on thing or who knows where the world is going to end up.

Deeply in Love

I am in love. Deeply. Completely. Undeniably. He has my undivided attention and always will. I could never stray away from him. I will always be there for him. Who is this person I am so in love with? My Black man.

Black men come in so many different hues, I wouldn't know which one to try first. There is my cream-colored man, my caramel-colored man, my honey-colored man and last, but certainly not least, is my licorice-colored man. Why am I stressing "my"? Because he belongs to me. I don't believe in that "to each its own" jive. A Black IS my own or he wouldn't be called a Black man. I am the only one who can identify with him. I am the only one who can truly feel his joy, his anguish, his love. I am the only one who can sympathize with him and with all honesty, say "I feel you" when he has a dilemma. I love the sight, the touch, the feel and the taste of my Black man. But it hurts me to my soul that he doesn't always feel the same way. He sees me as being too pushy, too needy, too bossy. Is that my fault? Sometimes. Is it his fault? Sometimes. But I can understand why he feels that way. While it takes two to destroy a relationship, society also plays a part. Let me explain....

Society has made my man almost feminized in his relationship. It took his woman and made her the head of his household. Where do I get this concept from? I think back to the Spike Lee movie "X" and I remember a scene with Denzel Washington and Angela Bassett playing Malcolm and Betty and she is arguing with him about his travels for the Nation of Islam and his being taken advantage of by Elijah Mohammad and they are bantering back and forth and Malcolm tells her, in his deep base voice "Don't you raise your voice in my house!". And incredilously, Betty quiets down. I love that scene because it showed how we have become so dysfunctional in our Black families. Not that I'm expecting a "Me, Tarzan, you, Jane" attitude but a Black man should feel some sort of control in his own home because he has no control over much of anything once he ventures out in to the world for business or leisure. Can you picture a scene like that today? Imagine if a Black man tells his woman to quiet down in his house. What do you think she'll say? "Who you think you talking to??" or "You not my father! You can't tell me what to do!!" or even "Whose house, n****r? This is MY house! If you don't like it, you can get the f@*! out!!!" How can 40 years later, we get from "his house" to "her house" while much hasn't changed in our white counterparts lives except that the woman CHOOSES to go to work but it is still her husband's house. It is just so unbelievable....and sad.

What also pains me is how we as Black women and men turn to other races and nationalities, hoping that we can get the serenity and prosperity that we actually yearn for with our own race. My teenage daughter prefers white men because she feels they have more education, make more money and (as she says) don't end up in jail. I am so hurt by my offspring's yearning for someone who will not completely understand her. All these attributes doesn't make a caucasian a better man. In response to her statements, I told her that I may argue with my mate and, on occasion, with her father but I would choose to be unhappy and be with a Black man than to be happy and be with a white one. She looked at me dumbfounded. I also told her that she is young and she will learn who she needs to be with. If she chooses to be with a white man, so be it. I will still love and support her. I can't say the same for her father who has made it clear that he will not accept her being with anyone but a Black man. I hope she makes the right decision.

No matter what, I will continue to be there for my Black man. And I will continue to love him. I love him so much that I couldn't desert him for anything or anyone.

Another Loss in the Rap Game

In hearing about he death of Ol' Dirty Bastard, I refelcted on the plight of Black men. I believe that OBS was sincerely trying to fight the domons that were within him and make a better life for himself. He was trying to get away from negative influences (including some members of Wu-Tang) and revive his career. His life was cut short - just like so many of Black men. But then again, his life has not ended - only cease to exist in this world. Maybe he is walking with Jesus right now, looking back on his life - content with what he tried to accomplish. He has no worries now - he is Home. He will sorely missed like so many others that lives were cut short. His dealth causes me to think about Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. aka Biggie Smalls. Even though Pac and BIG died by way of violence - all three have one thing in common - none lived to see their 36th birthday. Pac and BIG didn't even live to see their 30th birthday. Regardless of what other people and/or critics may say or think, all three are/were musical geniuses in their own right and I will always listen their music fondly. R.I.P. Russell Jones, Tupac Shakur and Christopher Wallace.

But taking it further, it seems like all our Black men die too soon. If not from violence then from poor health. My partner always seems amazed to realize that he is fastly approaching his 39th birthday. He feels grateful that the Lord has allowed him to get to 38. Grateful to reach 38??? How can that be that our men are happy to reach 38 instead of striving to reach 83? Or beyond? What has society done to our race for us to be grateful for our men to reach 35 or even 40 while our white counterparts couldn't grasp the thought of dying young? What has society done to me for ME to be grateful that he reached 38? It is really a travesty. We really have to set high expectations for ourselves or we might as well just think of us as being on the endangered species list.

What is Up With Those Ads?

On Thursday, I picked up a Daily News on my way to school and was shocked to see a scantily-clad young girl with "Akademiks" written across her bottom, holding a book and looking like she was ready for somone to "do her doggie-style". Even though I have a teenager and a "tween", I never heard of the term "get brain" until I was reading the article. So I thought that now the term is "getting brain" instead of "getting head". But what was so unbelievable is that the company knew what the slogan meant and hoped that officials at the MTA (Metropolitan Transit Authority) would not. Apparently, they didn't. These ads were on hundreds of buses and platforms before the MTA finally figured out (or was informed) and started pulling them off. What kind of company would pull a stunt like that? The marketers at Akademiks may have found it humorous but many more haven't. How can they, as a company representing the hip-hop culture, so something so underhanded? We, as blacks/African-Americans (whichever you prefer), are already thought from our white counterparts as being overly sexual or lazy or stupid and this stunt cements that thinking. This company has shown me their ignorance and I definitely would not support them by purchasing their clothing....not that I would anyway. My partner has bought a couple of jeans from them and he stated then that he would would probably not purchase them anymore because the quality isn't as good as Sean John or RocaWear and most importantly - they cost a lot more.

The article goes on to say that MTS would like a formal apology issued and the company refused. Why would they refuse? To issue an apology would show their guilt? I guess they feel that what was put in those ads were correct? Maybe they feel that the ads were "morally correct"? With ads like those, is there any doubt why Bush Jr wouldn't meet with BET reporter, Ed Gordon?? With ads like those, is there any doubt WHY Bush Jr. won a second term?? I'm not saying not to have ads of that nature on display, just watch the double messages that are placed within them.

Post-Election 2004-What Now?

As am I sitting here at my desk at school, contemplating my thoughts, I'm wondering how am I going to make it through the next four years. How will my family make it? I live in NYC and haven't worked a full-time job since July 2002. I have to work a student position at school just to cover my rent and get myself more in debt by taking out student loans to cover other living expenses. I voted for John Kerry with the hopes that he could stimulate the economy and I could find work. Now those hopes have been dashed. I am a secretary with fifteen years experience and I cannot find a job. How sorry is that?

I went the the polls early on November 2nd, thinking that if I go in early, there wouldn't be any lines. Yeah, right! This was the first time in twelve years that I had to stand in line to vote; it moved pretty fast - I only waited 20 minutes but going by past history, usually when people vote in droves, it means they want a change. I guess not. I do not knock any person that voted for Bush Jr but how naive can they be? With everything that has happened to this country in the past four years, how could anybody vote for the same? You would think that, with the exception of Texas, New York and Washington, D.C. would back Bush 200% - they didn't. Shouldn't that have been a lesson to the rest of the country? The terrorist attacks happened in our backyards and we didn't vote for our President that promised to bring whomever was responsible to justice? I just don't understand. But that is all water under the bridge now. Kerry conceded and Bush is looking at another four years. I certainly hope that he now focused on domestic issues because if he doesn't, I see the U.S. going the way of Chile in the 1980's. Bush reached out to me and all the others that voted against him. I hope that you can win us over because right now, I am thoroughly disgusted with the voting system and am really considering not voting anymore.

Another Job Slips Through My Hands

Recently, a classmate of mine informed me of a position open at her place of business. She works at NYU Medical Center. Since I've been trying to get a job either in the medical center or at NYU, I jumped at the chance. The pay isn't great but one of the best benefits is tution remission. The only thing was that when the position became available, she didn't know at the time I was looking for work so she posted the position in the New York Times. She still told me to fax my resume to her and she would see what she could do. (Only if she knew ahead of time that I was looking, she wouldn't have posted the job and would have just given it to me.) I faxed it to her on Monday and didn't hear from her until Thursday. She apologized for not getting back to me sooner but she was wrangling with Human Resources on my qualifications. She wanted to bring me in but they wanted someone with medical secretarial experience. Mind you, I have five years of working with a nurse-midwife (but that was ten years ago!). To me, experience is experience but HR didn't feel that way. So they told her to interview others first and then, if none are qualified, bring me in. Well, I knew what THAT meant. She apologized profusely. I told her not to worry about it. At least, she tried.

What bothers me most is that HR just overlooked my total experience. Yes, my medical experience may be somewhat outdated but I have other experience, including legal. And I'm currently working at NYU in a student position. (I couldn't secure full-time work so my advisor pulled some strings to get me part-time work at the university.) I worked for a major law firm and I was just as busy (if not more) than a medical office. With the way this economy is, I hope to find full-time work soon. I have been unemployed since July 2002 and I just don't see thing getting any better.

Maybe I should just take this rejection as their loss. Something better will come along soon. I know it.